“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.” Lily Tomlin
“If I make a wrong decision, I worry what might have been. I stress out over very insignificant things.” Courtney Barnett
There have been some days when I was so stressed, I didn’t know how much longer I could live with it. Ever felt like that? Yes, stress can be good. But I am not writing about that. I am writing about the stress that can be too much. One such situation happened in 2007.
I was working for a company that made both dog and cat food. However, a competitor’s product for dogs became tainted which caused sickness and/or death. It was terrible news for dog lovers. And unfortunate news for any company making dog food.
ALL companies that made similar products were guilty by association. It was very unfortunate that the public reacted out of fear, yet it was understandable – to some degree. My department dealt with pet owners. So, we took the blunt force of the spike in phone calls, emails, and letters that were filled with much anger, fear, accusations, threats of all kinds, and so much more. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. The onslaught was incredible and the stress was unbearable for most of us. At one point the company brought in counselors and massage therapists to help us deal with the stress. Yes. Massage therapists. But what,if anything, could I possibly learn from such a terrible experience? After all, leaders deal with stress many times in many different circumstances. How can leaders learn from this?
First, realize there are coping strategies that just don’t work. Here are just some of them:
Escape. This can be a very common mechanism. Hiding in the car and listening to the radio may not necessarily work. Nor going to your bedroom, locking the door and turning up the volume of the TV or stereo.
Over…. Overeating, overworking, “overmovieing” are common, but not necessarily that effective.
Attack. Anyone adds to your stress, you attack them verbally, or even physically.
“Gutting it out.” We think that sticking to it will make it go away. Or, if we can just make it to the next job, the next season of taxes, or the next….. “Here we go from stress to stress without a break.
“Stress is an important dragon to slay – or at least tame – in your life.” Marilu Henner
Second, there are better steps we can do to reduce the stress in our lives.
Make a strong commitment. Scott Morton once wrote that “reducing stress requires a commitment to change the way we live. We will not lead quiet lives unless we strive for it.” He goes on to write that a quiet life attracts people. Are you attracted to people who are over-stressed? Of course not.
Resolve relationship problems. We aren’t just talking about family here. What about friends, co-workers, supervisors, and??? Stress won’t go away if an unresolved conflict exists. “It’s like painting primer over rotting wood.”
Take time off – even when you are busy. When was the last time you had an uninterrupted hour of solitude? Today, the “rest” many people take is just another form of busyness. Instead, try doing nothing. Novel idea? Try it. Try being alone sometime.
Learn to say no. If one has a habit of overextending himself/herself, there is a good chance he, or she, is going to experience stress to some degree. Sometimes when we overextend ourselves, we don’t always do a good job of the task at hand.
There is much more I can add to these lists. But suffice it to say, that even though stress can be good, it can be bad if we deal with it incorrectly. If you aren’t dealing with the stress the right way, then consider any of the points above. However, if your stress goes much deeper, then I recommend seeking out a professional that can guide you in dealing with it.
One more thing. Being a man of faith, I rely very much on prayer. Not everyone feels comfortable doing that – and I respect that. But for me, seeking out His help is very beneficial. It is impossible to eliminate all stress in my life. So, with God’s help, I’m either learning how to handle it the right way, or I am reminded of what I should do. And that process is an on-going, living process each day.
What are your thoughts? I welcome your comments.