We lose weight. We lose in sports. We lose, we lose…. in life……. But is losing an option? Do we readily accept it? Or do we fight, kick, scratch, or bite – to do everything we can to avoid it? Should a leader do all that he (or she) can from losing in life?
In his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell lists 7 statements in the chapter “The Law of Victory.” That list will be used in a series “7 Statements of Leadership.” The topic for this post: losing is unacceptable.
“I’m in competition with myself and I’m losing.“ Roger Waters
First, we must realize there are some things we cannot control in losing in life. For example, we cannot control when we lose a friend or loved one through death. We cannot control the situation when our employer must cut back on jobs. But I know one thing, I do not like to lose in anything. In any kind of competition, in any endeavor, in a job situation, in other situations. I DO NOT like losing in life.
“You learn more from losing than winning. You learn how to keep going.“ Morgan Wootten
Second, I must realize that losing is PART OF LIFE. Again, it doesn’t mean I embrace it; welcome it; enjoy it. No. But, I must learn to live with it when it happens. There are some things I must live with: a loss through death, getting fired,etc. However, the choice is mine to make about moving on. Yes, losing exists. But do I allow myself to be “stuck” in that loss or do I move on?
Third, there are situations where we will not accept a loss, a defeat. Maxwell wrote that “….victorious leaders have one thing in common: they share an unwillingness to accept defeat. The alternative to winning is totally unacceptable to them. As a result, they figure out what much be done to achieve victory.” This goes back to my very first paragraph about what we are willing to do to avoid losing.
“Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.“Donald Trump
Fourth, Maxwell writes that there are three components to victory for teams and organizations. They are: 1. Unity of Vision, 2. Diversity of Skills, and 3. A leader dedicated to victory and raising players (team members) to their potential. But what about individual victory? A slight twist on the previous three – for individual victory in life, for the ability to “move on” from unfortunate situations. Here they are:
- A leader must have vision. Do you know where you are going? Do you know what you want in life? Do you know what your goals are? What are you striving for?
- A leader must know that they cannot succeed in life without a team around him/her. It takes many skills to be successful, and I do not posses many of them. However, I know of others who have the knowledge and the skills I can tap into to help me to move on in life.
- A leader must be dedicated, committed to victory. If you are not, then you should not be a leader. Defeat should be unacceptable.
Here are two brief examples.
When I became a partner with the John Maxwell Team, little did I know what I was getting involved with. There are very knowledgeable mentors and team members within the this Team. Several of them have provided to me their skills, talents, and/or their knowledge based on their experiences. Honestly, I rely much on them because they understand my vision, what my heart desires, and because we are on the same team. Some have even admonished me when it looked like I would be on the edge of accepting losing. Because of this team, I continue to “move on” in my life.
The second example is much more personal as it deals with the death of my father. This was a devastating loss that could not be controlled. And we all know death is part of life. On the day of my father’s funeral, I looked at the shell of what was a living person. I knew he no longer resided in that body, but the loss was still very difficult. How could I handle this loss? Would I recover from this? And if so, how? After the funeral, when people had left and I was on my way home I began to think about my life. I could continue to just live day by day without any thought, or I could live it with intentionality, passion and vision- to make it count. I chose the latter. I chose to “move on.”
Losing is unacceptable.
I welcome your comments on this post.